The Monster Hunters of Down Cthulhu

Terrorists Under the Channel

Some dirty frenchmen try to get Her Majesty the Queen, so we kick their asses

We get the distinction of being a part of one of the newest world wonders, the sub-English Channel train to Calais, a fine example of English technology. Boarding sub-Channel train to Calais! Big to-do to be onboard, as this is 1st official passenger train. Operation fully owned and operated by England. French-end post is operated by the French however. Then on to Paris and Orient Express. Orient Express making big deal about this being first time one could take train all the way from England to Istanbul. Artificial island at the halfway point with column to bottom accessable by long ladder-climb. Has small military guard, used to pump smoke out and air in. Tunnel looks like binoculars, separated by wall. Connected by a crosstunnel every mile. Train built to a slightly different gauge than normal so can’t be usurped. Cable above train connected by a rod that carries telegraph from train anytime. Phone hookups at a couple stops.
Our’s not first train through tunnel, sold out of course. 1st was one w/ ambassador to France, company officials and first troopload to guard post at French end. Went and returned with same people and French ambassador to England. 2nd train through was Victoria’s. Took guided tour, brunched in Calais and now on her way back as our train, 1st with paying passengers, heds to France. Very nice looking on outside so watchers in Dover and Calais are impressed. Pics of Queen and such. English not real good at comfort side, so seats are slightly small because train is narrower. Kept aisle same size so seats are cramped and padding thin, and hard on ass not good leather. No lavatory either.
Train takes about an hour, at 10 miles/hour on average. There are workmen at various points in tunnel. More than will be usual now making finishing touches. Tunnel itself lit by newest tech, electricity! No uniformly lit. Each place there is a pool of light there is a gorgeouos mural. Terrible idea since the soot will soon cover them. History of England motif on way to England. On way to France is British victories during the 100 Year War! HA!! 7’ clearance above train with occasional protruding rods and such hanging down. 4’ on either side of train.
Train taking queen, 15 cars, is underpowered because meant to take max of 10 cars. We inquire about queen’s train. F-class 440, crew of 3(driver, fireman, inspector from London) from Chatham and Dover Railway company.
Engine; Press car (2 photographers, lamere cameraman, 2 ass, 3 reporters, gentleman from times, and Edison Filmakers cinematographers of brand new motion pic tech; planning to show ‘newsreels’ at movies about world news); carriage w/ 20 servants and luggage-3rd has officials of royal household, several offices, typewriters, phone and telegraph; 12 senior officials, advisors and dipl. staff, sir Edwin Watkin Chairman of Southeast railway, director of SCR and channel tunnel company, sickbay and royal doctor; dining car w/staff of 8; 14servants and pantry with 7000p of royal silverware; royal coach:reception and dining for dignitaries; accomadations for 4 ladies and waiting w/ sleeping compartments; royal coach: Queen’s luxurious sleeping room and drawing room, where she hangs with ladies and servants; bodyguard of 4 detective, 10 personal guard and 20 soldiers; guardvan with 4 train guards and repairmen.
At the station, see a captain and force of 40 soldiers, which Paul ID’s as East Sussex Regiment, on 1st car of our train. Seem slightly better disciplined than usual when soldiers on loose. 2 Sgt keeping them in line. Paul was never big fan of the regiment, kind of surprised they’re acting so well. Likely raw recruits, odd. Maybe regulars cause in general older than recruits and some look hardbitten. No weapons are allowed on your person while aboard. Must be in baggage. It’s a short trip, so no ammenities cars like compartments and dining. 3 passenger cars (each seat holds 2. 60 to a car maximum), 1 baggage (behind engine to keep passengers further from soot output) and a caboose. We are in car 3. Paul and Red Cloud occupy seat 13, Schuyler and Geste in seat 11, Van daNort and Jeremy in seat 13. Inordinate # of women and children. Mostly uppermiddle and upper class just for the trip, going right back home afterward. Some of the middle class have servants carrying hampers for picnic as there is an English owned park. Lots of complaining about lack of comfort. The kids are restless, uncomfortable terrors. Taking in the surroundings, there is an engineer and 2 assistants in front, 3 guards stay in baggage car. Schuyler suggests Paul uses his sway to get a tour of the engine prior to departure. While only travel up to 10/hour by regulater, if you disconnected it could make up to 30/hour on this flat straightaway.
Once sitting and train entering tunnel, Jeremy tells Wilhelm “You know what was funny, when we were goin by those soldiers, I heard 2 of them speak in German. The other thing is I could swear I heard the Cpt speak to one of the others in a distincty French accent.” “Foreign legion, maybe.” “That’s like their commandos, what would they be doing here, how would they be in England and why looking like English soldiers?” Wilhelm goes to Paul and lets him know. They all have their rifles with them and they are between us and our weapons. Schuyler says maybe Paul should get us into engine again so we can get into baggage alongway for weapons. Conductor says not allowed to move from car to car cause of darkness. Also, baggage car doors are locked during transit. Guards will not let anyone through. Just then, Jeremy thinks he hears a low scream abruptly cut off from ahead, and Red Cloud sees what looks like a body outside on the ground. Jeremy says that’s a baggage handler. Schuyler “They took over the baggage car already.” We are now almost halfway through tunnel. Schuyler and Paul at same time “They are going after the queen.” Jeremy says 40 wouldn’t be enough. Paul says it is if they have explosives. Geste “This would cause an immediate war. No one in their right mind would want that. Maybe someone pretending to be French.” Shuyler “How many enemies do we fight in their right mind?” Paul “Maybe more anarchists, maybe even leading mercs. Mercs may not even know led by an anarchist.” Paul intimidates the conductor to give us free reign, and he gives in totally. Says “Are you sure there is something going on?” Red Cloud “We’re sure.”
We move to next passenger car up, conductor surprised. Tell him to watch our car. As we move toward door, train starts coming to a stop. Schuyler asks if we are at island, conductor says “There it is” as we pull in. Conductor steps out and sees several soldiers off train already, filing down along sides. “What are you blokes doing there” as a shot fires at him as Red Cloud pulls him back saving his life. A soldier says “I would not try anything senior.” Hear walking on the roof, probably cutting telegraph. Paul “Evil Spanish!”
The cpt steps in “Monseur and Madames please return to your seats”. One portly gentleman w/ cane “See here you can’t do this, this is England!” Cpt about to shoot as Schuyler starts to pull him back. “Do you see what there doing? By jove the queen’s over there, the Queen!” Schuyler whispers “We know sir, lets get ourselves together if we are to help her.” Cpt says something to Fritz and Heiny and Fritz says in an atrocious Entlish accent “First man that moves gets a bullet tween the eyes.” Heiny speaks broken French and German, no English. Fritz tells him to shoot anyone that moves. Fritz at front, Heiny at rear. Red Cloud says many must have gone through passage to Queen, much less for us to deal with now. Shots outside at railroad workers as they tried to attack with sledges and such, all dead. Look out and see guys starting to scale ladder to island also. Red Cloud “Even more gone, now we have the advantage.” From caboose, that had several workers and an inpector, they are hustled out of the car and shoved into our car. About 25 men on this car, rest women and kids. Red Cloud and Paul speak in Kaiowa Schuyler just waiting for a move: “What now, Paul”. Paul “We gotta take out these 2 and use their rifles. As you said, with a group going up and one making for the other track, only a core group left with the cpt. Let’s make our move.”
Lots of gunfire from 3rd car, screaming and crying. Back door opens and 2 soldiers throw a beat up guy into our car. Schuyler gets to him and asks what happened. “Oh my god it was a massacre. I was a passenger in the car, we decided to get the jump on them but there was a traitor in the car, a plant. He gave us away so when we made our move 6 rifles from outside shot in windows. I was ringleader, roughed me up and threw me in here to get me away from the other troublemakers.” Paul and Red Cloud keep planning during commotion. Red Cloud moves to Fritz with hands up like I am giving up, speaking in Kaiowa how he is “going to put my knife in your ribs stupid man”. Gets prostrate and scoots toward Fritz on his knees in supplication. “Spanish #1, kill white man” pointing at Paul. Schuyler readies to draw his boot derringer and bootknife as he his kneeling beside beat up guy. Red Cloud attacks Fritz unarmed, slugging him then pulls dagger. Schuyler pulls dagger and stabs Heiny, who yells in surprise, and Jeremy yells “All of you down” to passengers. Beat up guy jumps up, opens rear door and says “Come on lets go”. We stay to fight instead. Paul gets to Heiny and he and Schuyler flank him, as Paul fails to grappling his rifle away.
Beat up guy moves outside toward platform pulls out .38 and yells “Cpt they’re making a break for it”, then fires point blank on Schuyler but misses. Wilhelm pulls out his scalpel as a weapon and charges to help Red Cloud, slicing his leg wide open with a crit. Red Cloud lets out a warcry and stabs him for another crit. Fritz is reeling, stabs with bayonet for only 5. The portly gentleman stands up and cracks Heiny with his cane, Geste hits Heiny with a punch, Paul stabs Heiny with his swordcane for 9, Schuyler misses w/ dagger. Heiny turns to Paul an fires his rifle, hitting for 10! An ex-soldier passenger stands up beside Schuyler, whips out a pen knife, and hits for 5. Jeremy says both sides are readying to fire from outside. A woman jumps up and yells “on your feat you blighters, give ‘em cover. They won’t shoot women and children” so they do so. Sgt yells fire, but one guy says “we can’t shoot women and children”. “Then shove them out of the way” and they start attacking them through windows with butts of rifles.
Wilhelm cuts at Fritz again for 5 finishing him off. Beat up spy slams door shut. Geste tries to grapple Heiny and succeeds, his rifle dropping to ground. As he has him in armlock, Paul and Schuyler stab him to death. Cpt"just shoot, fire!" Soldier “we can’t”. Paul grabs Heiny’s rifle, Red Cloud gets Fritz’s. Woman doing the yelling is hit twice badly as Wilhelm yells “everyone down”. Cpt “That’s how you get ’em out of the way.” Rest of passengers get down. Wilhilm gives woman medical attention, rolls 28. Paul and Red Cloud fire outside and we take out lights in car. Firing back and forth.
Paul says the island could defend themselves well vs a sea attack. So they want to take it from underneath as their escape route. We need to let them fend for themselves and stop them from whatever they plan on doing to the queen. Schuyler says we need to get to our weapons. The ex soldier says give us the rifles, we’ll keep ‘em busy while you make for the baggage. “Sgt Major Atkins?” “Yes Sir.” “Just like in India lets give them what for”. They begin to trade fire w/ bad guys. Atkins hits one in face. We open front door, no one on platform, but 2 soldiers in the next car with 15 passengers. No guards beside it. We make for the top of that car and crawl our way forward. Paul slips once, but they don’t seem to hear over the gunfire behind us. Climb down to baggage car platform. Feremy looks in and sees one baggage handler dead inside, one sitting and whistling holding a rifle, obviously a soldier. Red Cloud sneaks up on him, stabs with his bowie knife for 9, then again for 9. Soldier aims rifle but Red Clouds AoO kills him. Take rifle. Bad guys have overpowered our car now. Hear cpt yelling at retired Col “Where are ze others? The troublemakers where are they?” Col “I don’t know, we are the only ones.” To Atkins “Where are they?” Atkins “Listen mac I don’t know who you’re talkin about.” “One of you will talk and one will die.” Col “We’re prisoners of war, you can’t kill us.” Cpt “We’re not at war…yet”. Gunshot. Atkins “ok ok I’ll tell.” Cpt “Where?!” Atkins “They headed down the track back to Dover for help”. “If you lie I’ll make you wish you were dead.”
Sends a Sgt with 6 guys down track to find us. We rush to passage unseen and get to other track, hear huge explosion as we near, see Queen’t train sitting there. Last car that had Queen’s guard is blown up. Detective and several soldier’s bodies beside track, Paul says looks like hit by grenades. Now they are herding servants off train. Looks like maybe 10 or 12 bad guys. We start creeping up using cars, alcoves and pillars as cover. See that 2 guys w/rifles aimed at Queen. 1 noble advisor dead nearby, Lt. is there and we see Cpt has come out of passage behind us with a few more men. Lt. goes to see him. Hear shooting from down passage. Geste “are they gunning down all the passengers from our train?” Paul says no, sound like a gunbattle. Train starts to move quickly down tunnel. We all try to jump on as it is moving. Paul rolls a 1, Red Cloud only succeeds via action point. Paul tries again getting on 1 car behind rest of us. Most of the other cars are empty, as passengers are dead or taken off.
In the rear car, see the Queen with 3 ladies in waiting guarded by 2. Jeremy “we could undo the car once we have her”. Schuyler “We need to be alert for a trap. That might not be her”. Geste “Storming the car would be too dangerous to her”. Schuyler says Jeremy should go in wearing Paul’s uniform bluffing to be one of them, wounded, saying there was a fight 2 cars up. Red Cloud prepares to come in from the rear. Both guards race past him and look out door. “I don’t hear anything.” Red Cloud fires Winchester from rear doorway, hitting bad1 one for 14. Jeremy’s pistol misfires. Bad1 turns and fires on Red Cloud, missing. Jeremy attacks unwounded bad2 with bayonet and hits. Red Cloud fires again and hits for 7. He shoots Red Cloud for 16, he reels. Paul and Schuyler jump down between cars behind soldiers, see 2 guards in next car up. Bad1 misses Red Cloud. Red Cloud charges bad1with the bayonet killing him. Paul hits bad4 in other car. Jeremy hits bad2 for 4 w/ bayonet. Schuyler fires Winchester at bad3, hits for 13. Bad2 stabs w/ bayonet at Jeremy missing thanks to Jeremy’s speed. Bad 3 and 4 fire at Paul (“Take out that fool in his underwear”) in his longjohns with his medals pinned to them, 2 misses. Jeremy misses bad2, Red Cloud does 13 with bayonet. Paul fires at bad4 for 10, bad 3 at Paul misses, Schuyler at bad3 does 10, bad4 misses Paul. Bad2, supposedly a master of the bayonet, misses Red Cloud. Red Cloud kills bad 2 w/bayonet. Paul misses, bad3 misses Paul, Schuyler misses, bad4 misses Paul. Paul “For Queen and country!” Paul hits for bad4 for 8, bad 3 and 4 miss, Schuyler misses, Paul finishes off bad4. Bad3 crits Paul to the shoulder, Schuyler crits bad3 for 9 killing him. Red Cloud checks and it is not the Queen, it’s a lady in waiting. Schuyler “I knew it.” Lady "Their plan is evil but it has failed. Wanted to take over train, capture island with several barges of troops and flyer. Pack train with troops, go to Dover and force Queen to do impromptu inspection of fort, take it over and hold it, then bring special trains through they have had made of correct gauge to bring troops through. Wilhelm “The French?” “Yes. Figured if we could do all this England may surrender.” Paul “HA”. All have papers ID them as Germans so it would look like Germany if they failed, starting a war tween them. Failed cause a company had been placed on the island, so all guns were manned, and that attack failed miserably. Troops came down, taking casualties as climbed. Dropped TNT then came down and rescued our original train because they came down the 1 of 2 ladders closer to ours, other was mined and blown. Now they go for Dover with Queen for some reason. The cpt’s troops were carrying heavy boxes. Red Cloud “Maybe blow up fort/post at other end”.
8 cars, we get to top and crawl our way forward as train moving and lights flashing by, looking for Victoria through doors along the way. Order is Jeremy, Paul, Schuyler, Red Cloud, Wilhelm, Geste. Jeremy peers over into next window, sees 2 guards inside. We play it safe and climb down in between and back up. The guards not being too alert, talkin. Guard 2 looks up and sees Wilhelm starting to climbing just behind Red Cloud. Sends a shot through window but misses. Paul with his 5 initiative “Is there action happening back there?” Those on top continue going forward. Geste drops down, pulls his revolver and fires through window while hanging on ladder, misfires. Wilhelm gets to top after being hit for 7 by guard2. “All yours Geste, my large friend.” Guard 1 fires and misses Geste. Simon opens door and fires, hitting G1 for 9.
A head pops up at other end of car, and we see a guy climb onto top ahead of us. Pulls out a large knife and crawls toward us. He is followed by another guy only stooping over. He is unceremoniously crushed by passing duckwork, almost decapitated. The spirting body rolls off the side. Other guy snarls and keeps coming. Jeremy turns to Paul “You go first”. “Gladly, keep my jacket warm for me”. Guard2 crits Simon, guard1 hits Simon for 7. Top guy tries to grapple Paul but fails. Paul goes for the same tactic, sending him tumbling over the side. He will later be found dead. Inside, Simon Geste charges with his longsword at guard2. Grabs his rifle and pulls him forward into the blade for 21 killing him. Guard1 goes to fire, but the AoO eviscerates him.
Next car empty, was occupied by the 2 who climbed up.
Next is empty also. Next is empty, next empty. Paul now in front assailed by a volley of shots from door as he gets to edge, and hit once for 8. Red Cloud jumps the cars and makes it, but clipped in shoulder by a low hanging wooden beam for 21! Ouch! Not KO’d. Paul “Red Cloud!” Red Cloud “I’m ok.” Red Cloud crawls to far side and down to attack from other side, but almost there a huge hand appears, the big French Sgt we saw earlier climbs up. “Come to me my savage mon ami.” Pulls a dagger, Red Cloud pulls his warclub. Paul and Schuyler fire upon 4 gunmen in doorway. Paul crits #1, Schuyler hits #2 for 9. 2 fire at each of us, Paul is missed, Schuyler is hit twice for 15 and 6. Paul crits #4 for 18 killing him, Schuyler hits #3 for 9. They all miss. Schuyler crits #3 for 21 killing him. Paul crits #1 blowing his head off. #2 throws down his weapon and surrenders. Paul “Get off the train.” “Mon ami that’s death!” Paul “1, you’re French; 2, you assaulted the Queen…” Jeremy recommends we take him prisoner and tie him up in case we need him for evidence of our story so we do.
Above, a melee on our knees begins as the firefight is ending. Red Cloud crushes him in the ribs for 18, passing his threshold sending the poor French fool toppling from the train, unceremoniously killing him. “I’ll return for your scalp.”(after all is over, Red Cloud does)
At next car, Jeremy leans over and peers into window. Sees the Cpt with gun to Queen’s head, and 2 soldiers behind seats guns on us. We move in, Cpt says “Throw your guns down immediately, and all of you come into the car.” On the engine just ahead, 2 guys running train and lt. with a rifle keeping watch from top of engine. Jeremy says someone could climb along side of car. Schuyler volunteers to scale the side of the car “This is the shit I live for” to get to other side w/o them knowing to detatch engine,using the darkness to hide while the sniper watches the rest of us. Queen “Shoot this French pig!” Paul leads the way into the car, throwing down his gun. Cpt. “Why are you in your underwear?” Paul “One of your men decided to try to get a little too French.”
“The rest of you throw your guns over the side and enter.” Meanwhile, Schuyler makes 3 consecutively harder climbchecks, getting under the car and disconnecting the enging from the rest. Paul starts to carry on a conversation, as the rest enter the car dropping weapons to our feet, and walks up to him to speaking calmly, reasonably and personably. “Make piece with this situation we could let you go, but hurt the Queen and you and your country are finished. The royal Air Force will lay hell upon you.” He succeeds in approaching close enough to spring into action, getting past the 2 guards. Car disconnects. Sniper fires down and misses Schuyler, who waves goodbye. Train begins screeching to a hault. Schuyler pulls rifle. Paul quickdraws his blade, surprising him for 8.
Simon draws his sword charging guard 2 and crits for 17 killing him. Jerermy throws his dagger at G1 for 4. Paul hits cpt for 16! Van daNort moves to G1, hits for 8 with hammer. The captain levels gun on Paul, steps back and blazes away 2 pistols with doubletap on first att out of 3: 2 hits for only 11. Paul “My savage spits harder than that!”. Train is reversing. As it enters lights, Schuyler fires each time. First shot misses. Red Cloud runs up and covers the Queen to the ground. G1 fires, Wilhelm’s & Geste’s AoO each hit for 8 killing him. Paul misses, Geste moves in vs Captain and fumbles. Wilhelm moves to Cpt and hits for 5 from seats. Jeremy goes back out, climbs to top and stalks toward front to back up Schuyler. Cpt steps back and blazes away on Wilhelm: hits only once for 7. Train continues backward. Schuyler fires again at sniper, hits for 12. Red Cloud moves Victoria under a seat and covers her. Sniper hits for Schuyler for 9. Paul now flanks the Cpt with Wilhelm, he and Wilhelm both hit for 7. Cpt, now trapped w/one empty pistol, empties last 3 shots on Wilhelm, hits for 11 and 8 dropping Wilhelm. He and Paul’s AoO miss. Train hits, cars shake and Paul topples to ground. Sniper tumbles forward, landingin front of Schuyler. “Don’t move” says Schuyler as Jeremy jumps down to back him up. Jeremy tosses sniper’s rifle. Schuyler moves to engineers and covers them “American Secret Service! Shut down this engine NOW.”
Red Cloud stands and attacks cpt, missing. Geste moves back in and fumbles again. Cpt lunges past fallen Paul toward a plunger connected to an explosive “Vive la France!” Geste’s AoO hits for 10 , Red Cloud’s 11. Paul grabs at his legs successfully, tripping him as he stretches for the plunger. Red Cloud jumps from seat with knife and hits for 11. Gest dives over Paul with longsword for 9, killing him.
Queen: “My good fellows if you would not mind re-attacing this train and take us back to Dover.” Everyone gets off train, as Jeremy disarms bomb with a 25.
At Dover, place crawling with soldiers. Island telegraphed mainland. Another train came down other track, treating civilian casualties. Total of 6 prisoners. We are kept separate in our own room. One of her advisors “Gentlemen, if you don’t mind she would like to see you.” Queen: “Thank you gentlemen, we owe you our life. Word of this can never be allowed to leave this tunnel. We do not want a war with France. What we are going to do is make them pay dearly for this. Prisoners will be returned to France where they will surely be executed for treason to save face.” This mission was for the French Crown! French foreign legion in disguise. France will claim it was a renegade cpt. Paul: “Just doing our duty, my Queen.” She’s not sure if the whole French gov’t behind this, may have been a group within the royal circle or gov’t, but definately not just anarchists or renegades. All sworn to say to public that there was a train wreck, and the people on her train killed bravely attempting to rescue those on the other train.
The Col. is actually dead, but Atkins alive though badly wounded. He broke free during battle, throttled his guard, attacked French line from behind strangling their lt. in command to death, but bayoneted a few times. Amazing he still lives. We, Atkins, and the Col(posthumously) all get the victory cross, though we can never talk about why. Queen sees that very next train gets us to Calais and we have her thanks.

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